In many walks of life, if you speak confidently enough about something, the masses will tend to accept your theory or point of view because more often than not, your peers will be scared to challenge you for the thought of looking silly - how backwards is that?!
In the brilliant words of Dylan Jones, 'Wine, like golf, women and life itself, is one of those things it may take you your entire time on earth to understand. And even then I wouldn't bank on it.'
It's about as subjective a subject there is to bring up in mixed company, where so many people want to excel.
Anyway, if you bullshit successfully whilst on the topic of wine then I tip my hat (or raise a glass of Pinot Noir) to thee. But I can't deny, it is very annoying.
In essence, you're basically exerting your dominance on the table on something you likely know very little about. And for what gain? To get your own way and select your preferred choice of wine; don’t come for dinner with me next time, thanks.
Just so I don’t sound like I’m on a high horse, allow me to add that although I have next to zero knowledge of wine, I used to sniff, swirl and glugg wine at the dinner table to look educated - I looked like a tool and my friends didn’t fail to mention it.
Anyway, my advice when out for dinner with friends, family or on business (keep your mouth shut and let your boss order) is to Always show an interest in the wine being ordered, and express your opinion about the bottle you’d like (if this is legitimate). But please Never go on to deliver a spiel of bullshit about why you want it and everyone else should. And if you can't pronounce the name of the wine then just don't.
To summarise:
Always showing an interest in the wine order reinforces those around you that you care about the evening’s proceedings and also other’s opinions but you don’t need to exert your dominance on the table by making up a ton of rubbish. Frankly, no one cares.
Never act like a wine buff unless you have adequate grounds to do so. Now, I have some friends who have a certificate to prove they know something about wine and it’s refreshing to see them lead the conversation. However, it’s their passion for the subject, not their lust to boast that shines through.
If you don’t have a qualification, or something to back up your knowledge, offering your preference is enough - no one will judge you for doing just that but they will if you head down the road of no return; wanky ‘made up’ wine chat.
No one cares about your tannins; least of all you!
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